Santa Claus, Man or Monster?

A fat old man that climbs down the chimney with his huge sack, of presents. How did he fit in there? How did he even get there in the first place? Apparently he knows where you live too. And if you’ve been “naughty” “he’ll shove coal down your stockings so hard that you’ll be coughing diamonds”.

Santa Claus has been spotted around children lots of times, only wearing a red robe. Is this really a person that you want in your house at night? While sleeping? In only your pajamas?
Hmm?
“But Santa is such a nice guy that brings us wonderful gifts!”
Is he really?
A lot of people claim to have seen Santa, but none of them seem to have noticed anything unusual. Well… that’s because we’re so used to the fat, beardy, perverted (?) old man that our alarm system won’t go off!
Christmas is the perfect time for pedophiles. All they need to do is to put on a red suit and a fake beard and children will run off to hug them.

We interviewed an anonymous young boy who claims to have seen Santa.
"He was scary, and his breath smelled like eggnog. He told me to sit on his lap and said he had a special present for me…"
This has been brought to both our and the polices attention, although the boy isn’t really comfortable in talking to strangers after the whole Santa event and after recalling the events on that day he burst out into tears and we couldn’t finish the interview.

According to the legend Santa is currently residing in some sort of ice castle at the North Pole. Considering global warming, Santa will soon be forced to move away. Where will he go then?
And what about these so called “magical elves”? Who are they really? And why would they help such a despicable man? Are they his slaves?
But if they are, won’t this mean that he’s breaking several laws at once?
On top of that, what about all his illegal entries at night? Isn’t that also a crime?
Let’s ask ourselves one more time: Is this a man we want in our houses while sleeping?

Let us once again return to the topic, of elves.
Short, young people. Working 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
There is a word for that, people.
Child slavery.
Which is illegal.
What about the reindeers? Poor creatures, forced to fly around the entire world in one night, carrying a fat old man and his huge sack, of presents. Their only motivation: a whip.
There’s a word for that too: Animal cruelty.
Do you think this should be allowed?
All this cruelty, compressed in one holiday.
We can stop it though. All we need to do is to remove Santa Claus.




Written by: Joakim Gremlin and Lovisa Rosengren, 9A.


Un-edited version.
Upplagd på begäran av författarna :3